ARE YOUR THOUGHTS/BELIEFS HOLDING YOU BACK?

The brain and the mind are two separate things - similar to that of a computer consisting of hardware and software. The brain is a physical organ which exists within the skull - the mind itself is like the software of the brain which doesn’t exist in a physical sense.

 If we were to dissect the brain, we would not physically find the conscious or the subconscious mind.  However, although they cannot be weighed or pointed at does not mean they don’t exist.  A good example of this is hearing a piece of music or experiencing love.  They too can’t be weighed, yet we know they exist once we’ve experienced them.

Conscious

The conscious mind is analytical and also deals with willpower and temporary memory. It is the part of the mind that we are aware of using most of the time. Without the conscious mind, decisions or judgements cannot be made.

Subconscious

The subconscious mind is a memory bank where our emotions, beliefs and life experiences are stored and from where they emerge. Unlike the conscious mind, it has unlimited memory. This part of the mind does not analyse, it runs off what we have programmed into it and what it has learned. Being the part of the mind where opinions, beliefs and ideas are stored, it also defines the way we experience events and gives them meaning. Our defense mechanisms also reside in the subconscious, alerting us to our fears and danger. The subconscious is responsible for what drives us to be who we are.

 “The map is not the territory”

As humans we form internal maps so we can navigate our way through life.  Our internal maps, (our realities), are created through our life experiences and our understanding of them, which determines our perception of the world around us: it is our ‘version’ of the world, not reality itself or the world in its entirety.

Sometimes our maps serve us by leading us to our desired outcomes and sometimes they do not because they are inaccurate.

Our limiting beliefs stem from our past experiences creating our perceptions, these perceptions form our beliefs so that we can make sense of our world.

How can hypnotherapy help with limiting beliefs that are holding us back?

A hypnotherapist is able to help a client come to the understanding that some of their beliefs are not, in fact, reality.  The therapist can guide the client to see that the client’s belief's determine their emotional states, which dictate their motives for behaviour, determining their outcome.

Once the therapist is able to determine “how” the client habitually responds and acts upon a problematic situation, which leads the client to an undesired outcome, they are then able to challenge the client to interrupt old patterns of behaviour and guide the client into adding a more pleasurable, efficient and effective road in” their map”.

Rachael Muscat.

Several conducted studies showing the benefits in multiple areas.

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OBSTACLES IN HEALING A RELATIONSHIP

Are you facing challenges in your relationship?  Have you struggled to really understand what went wrong?  Are you wanting to move forward but aren't quite sure where to start?

 There are many reasons relationships begin to break down, here are some reasons the healing phase can be halted....

 A certain environment needs to be created, for both people, in order for a troubled relationship to heal. This environment consists of a mutual respect for each other so both partners can openly and honestly confront and discuss their disagreements while using supportive language with one another.

For this to occur, there first needs to be an acceptance of seriousness for the life situation and the need for help, as well as realising that they both play “some” part in the dysfunction in their life. Each needs to acknowledge any past trauma, and be prepared to express any thoughts, opinions  and feelings whilst respecting the others right to also do this for healing to occur.

There are many obstacles that can delay or stop the healing process from happening,  here are a few examples:

Inability to forgive - if either partner is not in a place where they are willing to move forward and work towards  forgiving their partner for a past issue, the healing process will not take place. The unforgiving partner needs to first foresee the possible consequences if he/she chooses to maintain this mindset. The unforgiving partner may realise the consequences outweigh the benefits of continuing this way of the thinking, resulting in the willingness to move towards forgiveness.

Unwillingness to accept personal responsibility- if one or both partners are unwilling to accept and take responsibility for their part in the relationship/communication breakdown, the healing phase cannot be reached. It is at this point professional help would be extremely beneficial.  It is the duty of the therapist  to make both partners aware of ‘blame shifting’ and the outcomes that this behaviour leads to. The therapist can help both parties to see that blame shifting will have them focusing on the problem rather than a solution.

A belief that their way is always the right way- this belief stops a person from being open to explore new and more beneficial approaches.

The unwillingness to trust- sometimes when a partner has been hurt by the other partner (e.g. partner having an affair etc), he/she are unwilling to trust again in the fear of getting hurt later down the track. Again, by  assessing the benefits and consequences of him/her sustaining this mindset, helps him/her come to a decision to either work through this or not.

Incompatible value systems- when both or either partner are rigid in their values and beliefs, and are unwilling to reassess them, the conflict can’t be resolved.

Lack of communication skills- if either partner has an inability to listen to the others feelings and respond on a feeling level, or is unable to read the other partners non verbal communication, the healing phase cannot take place.

Defensiveness- not willing to acknowledge anything the other partner has to say out of the fear of being hurt again.

Stonewalling- when a person fears conflict and believes that communicating will not resolve an issue, he/she may avoid, ignore and/or distance them self from their partner. This may be a behaviour that they had learned   before they had even met their partner in order to protect themselves from re triggering old angst and the associated negative feelings (this is usually done subconsciously). This behaviour of course contributes to further breakdown of the relationship. It is therefore important that they try and understand each others ‘model of the world’or seek professional help so this can happen.

In order to start healing the relationship, both partners need to first become 'aware' of these issues, as awareness is the first step to change.  Each partner also needs to switch their focus to a solution rather than the problem, and remind themselves that the past does not have to equal the future if both are willing to work through any issues together while keeping an open mind.

 If they are both willing to do this, they can move forward into a new and more rewarding future together.